Little Dreamer

1st grade

 

”Papi cuando you cresca yo quiero ser como Selena.

Sonriendo y mirando hacia arriba a mi padre, asi le dije una vez.

Acariciando mi cabeza me respondio mi padre.

”Si mija okay.”

 

 

Smiling and looking up to my dad one day I told him, “Daddy when I grow up I want to be like Selena.” My dad patted my head and replied, “yeah, okay mija.” Selena was someone who I admired as a little girl. Although I very much liked singing and dancing, I didn’t want to be a singer like her or famous I wanted to be someone important. I believe I was 6 years old when I told my dad this but at that time I was already dreaming about my future and who I wanted to be. I dreamed of reaching far in life and being someone important. I heard my calling as a little kid I always felt some kind of way since I was little. Like if I was destined to do something, I cant explain it but I have always known that I was on a mission.

As a kid I was very happy, outgoing and very friendly, I was also very observant and curious about everything. I had a very strong, vivid imagination, I was always day dreaming and thinking about the future. To this day I can remember a lot of things from my early childhood. As early, as before I even started preschool. I can recall writing my first little chapter book in second grade it was hilarious. I put together a couple of pages cut them and stapled them to look like a book. I remember showing it to my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Miramontes. She looked at me and said, ”you did this?” I nodded yes and she started laughing and said, ”this is good, its funny”. I was very creative and had quite an imagination.

My earliest memory of wanting to be a Doctor was at the age of 5. I would always find my parents first aid kits or anything and everything that I could find to bandage myself up or to play with. Sometimes there was nothing wrong with me, other times I had scrapes and bruises from your typical kid getting into things. I always had something wrong with me fake or not. If I didn’t have an ace wrap on my ankle it was a sling that used to be my dad’s from his previous accidents that he kept around. Or my hand would be wrapped in an ace wrap. My neighbor would always question my dressings and of course I always lied, especially if there was nothing wrong with me. Oh I sprained my ankle or oh I fractured my hand! Looking back it’s funny now, but that was me. However, I never went to my parents when I got hurt. Instead I would take care of my own scrapes and bruises. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, I accidentally sliced my finger pretty bad one time trying to cut open a frozen ice pop. It was my disabled finger the same one I had surgery on. It was always in my way when cutting things because I couldn’t bend it. I grabbed a knife while my mom was making dinner and being the little independent kid that I was I decided to cut the ice pop open myself. It did not go so well and next thing I see is blood and it hurt like a mother, but if I screamed and started crying I was going to get it. So I forced myself to shut up and smoothly left the kitchen and as soon I was in the living room I made a sprint to the bathroom. I started jumping up and down, and shaking my hand as if that would make the pain go away which only made it worse. My finger was burning, then I look up and there was blood splattered all over the bathroom. I was like oh shit I am really going to get it now. I grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and put it around my finger and just pressed on it really hard but the bleeding would not stop. Then I decided to look for an ace wrap and there was one in the bathroom. I wrapped it around my entire hand and made it pretty obvious, but my main concern was cleaning the blood from the walls. My dad would be getting home soon and if he found out what happened he was going to spank me for using the knife and cutting myself. Thankfully, the cleaning was easy because when I barged into the bathroom my older sister forgot to lock the door and was taking a shower. So the moisture made it easier for me to clean the walls. She kept asking me, ”what are you doing” and I just tried to play it cool and said, ”nothing”. Believe it or not she never even looked and I cleaned the walls before she got out of the shower, she had no idea. She probably would not have snitched but I was not going to take my chances of getting a spank. The hardest part to clean was the top of the ceiling but for that I went and grabbed the broom and put a cloth over it and used it to reach the top. I was a quick thinker and great at improvising too. And even though my parents were used to seeing me with ace wraps this time I had to hide my hand for a week from them. 

I liked playing doctor as a kid, I had to have the little toy doctor kits with the little stethoscope and fake bandages and the cute little medical carrying case. My mom used to get the kits from the Walgreen’s toy section. Its crazy because even though I had an unpleasant experience when I first got exposed to hospitals and doctors I ended up wanting to be like the doctors and nurses. After doctor visits I would go home an mimic what they did to me and did pretend play with my stuffed toys and talked to them like I was their doctor. And that is how it was from then on. Becoming a Doctor has been my lifelong dream. Only I knew that I wanted to be a doctor, but it wasn’t until I was older and married that I felt comfortable opening up about it to my family and close friends. I have always kept it to myself because it means the world to me. Thankfully my family has been very supportive especially my husband, he is truly amazing ! There is more to my story, hopefully one day I can write a book and share my journey in depth. Life happens, it’s unpredictable and of course there are challenges and obstacles that we go through. But it is through the challenges that we learn and grow as individuals. It has definitely been a tough journey for me but I am not about to quit! So you might wonder and ask why am I sharing this now? Because as I start preparing to apply to medical school, I realize how far I have come and how much I have accomplished all through my hard work and dedication. I feel that it’s okay to let other in on this next phase of my life. If I am going to get into medical school, it’s going to be because I got myself there. 

Since I was a child I always felt special, as if I had a purpose in life. I had a dream and I didn’t know how it would come true, I just knew that one day it had to come true. I was determined since the age of 5, and I don’t know why it just came to me. Maybe it was the fact that I had been exposed at an early age to doctors and hospitals. Or maybe, just maybe, it is my true calling and destiny. I don’t know, but what I do know is that my whole life I’ve had this dream, and no matter what situation or circumstance in life I was in; it was my dream that always kept me going.